Stewardship, not perfection
I want to say that in this season of motherhood I have had to relearn what it means to care for my home. However, if I am being honest, I am still learning what it means to care for my home. Stewardship has been something heavy on my heart the last year as I have been learning about it. I WANT to be a good steward of the blessings that God has given me, but I am having to step away from the perfectionist mindset I place on myself.
For a long time, I believed that stewardship meant that I had to do everything perfectly. I told myself that I was not being a good steward if I was not keeping up with every chore, staying ahead, and never falling behind.
As I have been learning more about stewardship, the Lord has been gently reshaping my understanding.
Stewardship is not about perfection. God does not expect perfection from us. He knows our every flaw, and He knows that we are not perfect. (Hence why He sent Jesus to save us from our sins.) If the Lord of the Universe does not expect perfection from me, why do I expect perfection from myself?
Stewardship is not about perfection; it IS about being faithful.
Stewardship is about being faithful in caring (to the best of my ability) for the blessings that He has given to me–my husband, our children, our home, and (most forgotten for me) even myself.
I have learned that the capacity I have and HOW I steward things looks different in different seasons of life. I have to pray for God to change my mindset from perfection to faithfulness. Especially in postpartum, in the exhaustion, in the interruptions, and in the unseen work of motherhood. (Unseen meaning often by the world–I am thankful that God sees all of my work in motherhood & knows my heart.)
The mental load of homemaking (amidst ADHD & overwhelm)
Before becoming a SAHM, I was a teacher. I begged, prayed, & pleaded for God to bless me with the opportunity to stay home. I cried everyday through PPD as Dropped my son off to go to work that I would not have to do it the next year. Praise God, He answered my prayers and I have been able to be home full-time since my son was 15/16 months old. For a long time, I felt guilty for praying that and not being able to stay on stop of everything without feeling overwhelm or falling behind. I constantly have to remind myself that God does not expect perfection from me.
I often say that one of the only things I got in trouble for growing up was not keeping my room cleaned, and that is honestly the truth. I did not want to live in a messy room, but I was constantly overwhelmed and never knew where to start. It was not until I was diagnosed with ADHD at 19 that I started to begin understanding some of these tendencies.
One of the hardest parts of being a SAHM and homemaking is not the physical work. It is that constant mental load. Remembering what needs to be done. Starting tasks but not finishing them. Feeling behind before the day even begins.
For those of us with ADHD tendencies, or simply the exhaustion of motherhood, decision fatigue can be overwhelming.
I have learned that having a simple rhythm helps to remove the pressure of deciding where to start. Removing one less decision from my day?! Yes, please!
I recently took a lot of time preparing every thing I needed for a “homemaking binder.” Instead of asking, “What should I clean today?,” I already have it planned and written out for me.
And when a day does not go as planned, I am learning that God’s grace fills in the gaps.
Homemaking with a toddler and nursing baby
My days do not look like uninterrupted productivity.
They look like: nursing every two hours, wiping counters with one hand, folding laundry during nap time while also playing with my toddler, stopping mid-task to hold a crying baby or help my toddler with a task, AND learning to let some things wait.
God did not intend this season of my life–motherhood with young babies/children–to be a season of constant output. He did intend for this season to be a season of nurturing though.
Motherhood is holy work.
Creating a rhythm exists to support this season of life, not to compete with it or add unneeded pressure.
Why a weekly rhythm brings peace
As soon as I wake up and see everything that already needs to be done, I am immediately overwhelmed. Mix my ADHD with constant nighttime wake-ups and nursing, PPD/PPA, and a million other things, I often feel like a recipe for chaos.
Instead of constantly trying to clean everything and never completing a task, I have learned that assigning one focus per day helps me to bring productivity, peace, and structure to our daily life.
It gives structure without pressure. It allows me to work towards caring faithfully for my home over time, even if in small and imperfect steps.
Matthew 25 gives us an example of God saying that being faithful over little will lead to being a ruler over many things.
Faithfulness is what matters; not perfection. God wants to see me being faithful to stewarding that blessings that He has given me.
My Grace-Filled Weekly Cleaning Rhythm
I have worked to create a simple rhythm to start following in this season, and I want to share it with you. (Keep reading for a FREE printable guide!)
Monday- Mudroom/Laundry Room, Floors, & Daily Laundry
Tuesday- Bedrooms & Daily Laundry
Wednesday- Dining Room, Kitchen, Refrigerator/Freezer (Tip: Do this on the day before your trash day! Our trash comes on Thursdays so we do this on Wednesdays so any leftovers or expired food from the fridge can be picked up the next day by the trash truck.)
Thursday- Foyer, Living Room, Office/Playroom
Friday- Bathrooms
Saturday- Catchup & Car
Sunday- Sabbath/Light Tidy
Some days, I may check all of this off. Some days, only part of it gets done. & some days, none of it does. And that’s okay. (The perfectionist in me cringes, but the follower of Christ in me rejoices in knowing that He does not expect perfection.)
I want homemaking and motherhood to be a slow rhythm of care, not a race to check off all the boxes.
Postpartum, nursing, and giving yourself grace
I am 100% “preaching to the choir” here. I am typing these out for reminders for myself more than anything.
Postpartum is HARD, and it changes everything.
Your body is healing and changing. Your baby needs constant care (& other children may too). Your sleep is constantly disturbed. Your hormones are on a roller-coaster. You may be experiencing postpartum depression and/or anxiety. Your life may revolve around a two hour nursing schedule around the clock.
God offers us grace, especially as mothers of young children. We have to also offer ourselves grace.
Creating this rhythm will hopefully allow me to return to what matters without carrying the overwhelm of trying to do everything at once and experiencing decision fatigue. It is my prayer that this will also help another momma feel a little lighter in this season.
Help me help you
To make this easier, I created a simple Weekly Homemaking Rhythm printable that I want to share for you to use in your own home.
You can hang it on your fridge, place it in a binder, or even just keep on your phone to glance at. I hope that it helps to remove some of the mental load of deciding what to do.
For me, I created a “homemaking family binder” that I keep it in. (Check back for more info on what it entails and the opportunity to get the whole binder!) I have all of my pages in sheet protectors so that I can check off each task that I complete (my ADHD necessity!).
Download the free Weekly Cleaning Schedule here.
Free Weekly Cleaning Schedule (& editable template)
Encouragement and stewardship
I hope this has reminded you that faithfulness does not equal perfection. You do not need to be perfect to be faithful. Your home does not need to look perfect to be faithful.
Stewardship is being built in the quiet moments, the nursing sessions, the bedtime routines, and even in the chaos. It is being built in the small acts that no one else sees.
This is taking an act towards faithful stewardship. This is not striving for perfection, but abiding in Christ. This is about being present. This is about helping to bring peace and not add pressure.
Motherhood often has many acts that feel unseen by the world. I hope you remember that even if you feel unseen in Earthly matters, God sees your faithfulness and He knows your heart. You are seen and loved by the God of creation.